Nov. 26th, 2011

fatgirlskates: (me)
Today was the first home game of the season. Our home games work like this: on Saturday night, two of three home teams in our league play each other. On Sunday afternoon, the travel team plays an out-of-town team. (I'm only on a home team, because I decided not to try out for travel team.)

My team lost tonight. We lost BAD. Not quite by a 100 points, but close. But I feel really okay about it. I actually feel energized.

Last season, there were only two home teams, and we played each other twice. My team won by a large margin both times. It felt really good to be on the winning team, but the other team felt really bad about it and said it was just because we had one particular very heavy hitter on our team. It seemed like they fell apart after that first loss and didn't try as much in the second game. When the league decided to create a third team, every single member of that losing team decided to go into the draft. Almost every single member of our team decided to stay.

The exception was that heavy hitter that the losing team said was the secret to our success. She left and was drafted to the new third team.

Sure enough, without her, we lost. Was it because she wasn't there? I kind of doubt it. A lot of the league's veteran players from last season, from both teams, have lost a little focus and motivation I think. I personally have gotten into a slump after my crazy summer. Since everyone in my team stayed, we didn't get any new players. The team we played had a lot of new blood -- a couple of them actually very experienced players from other leagues, as well as talented freshies. They played very well from the get-go. It took us a long time to really get our heads in the game, although the second half was a little better for us.

There's a couple reasons I'm really happy right now. Actually, three reasons, because I am SUPER HIGH on endorphins right now. The first is because I've decided I'm not allowed to beat myself up about the mistakes I made tonight (and they were LEGION). It's weird how sometimes you can read the perfect book/story right before the lesson you learned from it needs to be applied. And today, I read this fanfic (don't have a link right now, sorry) about a reverend who judges everyone around him and hates himself for all the same sins he sees in them. The turning point of the story is when he realizes that the commandment to "love your neighbor as yourself" means he has to forgive himself for the sins he commits if he's going to forgive other people. (I'm sure the author of this fic would cry over how I interpreted that character's epiphany, haha. Then there was gay sex, I got distracted!!) ANYWAY, I'm not going to stress over everything I messed up because I'm not going to tear apart my teammates about their mistakes either. I played hard and did my best! YEAH!

The second is that our team is sticking together. It got a little shouty and stressful at a few points, and at first, halftime was very negative and everyone was just yelling everything the other players were doing wrong, that the other team was cheating, that the refs were partial to them. And that is just NOT HELPFUL. But we have a lovely captain who is one of the most positive people I've ever met and she helped us all calm down. We decided on just a couple things to work on for the second half, and for the most part we stuck with them, and it did help us. One of the best players in the league, a great jammer AND blocker, said to everybody that she was there to have fun and she was going to do that, and if she took out some bitches and scored some points along the way, then that was a bonus. She could have been sour about being the best player on a team that wasn't doing well, but instead she stayed positive and I love her for that. I decided to take on that attitude as well and it made everything better. The second-to-last jam, I was the jammer and I was grinning the whole time. I scored a point, too!! Some of my teammates were just to depressed to do put on a happy face, but overall we were pretty positive even as we were losing. After the score was announced, we all go together and started cheering, "WE'RE NUMBER TWO!" :D

I'm not worried that this loss is going to hurt us like it did the losing team of last season's first bout. I think it will help us become better. We lost, but it's not because they have invincible players or cheaters or bad refs. It's because we played poorly. And next time, we're going to play better.


Now I need to go ice my hip....


fatgirlskates: (Default)

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