Aug. 31st, 2011

fatgirlskates: (Default)
I created this journal a few months ago because I wanted to talk about my adventures in roller skating. I've thought of myself as a fat girl for over decade, so it seemed to be natural to call the journal "Fat Girl Skates". But not long after I created this account, I went clothes shopping for the first time in over a year, since I started skating. I tried on a 16W - my usual size - and it was too big! This hadn't happened in years, but I shrugged it off and went for a 14W - but it was also too large! I was totally flabbergasted. I hadn't lost more than 15 pounds since I started skating, I knew because I had just been to the doctor's. But all the sudden I was shopping in a different department. I didn't know what to think. "AM I EVEN FAT ANYMORE??" I wondered.

It felt weird to post in my shiny new fat girl blog about how awesome it is to skate and be large and in charge, when apparently I'm not very large at all anymore. I'm just slightly bigger than average. So I didn't post here at all.

(I'm not complaining, because it's definitely easier to shop now and everyone who has ever even temporarily lost some weight knows how other people -- especially other women -- react. It feels good.)

So why am I posting now? Because I very quickly realized that nobody besides my family and friends knows or cares that I used to be bigger -- the fact that I'm still overweight according the BMI damns me anyway. I went skating at a rink a couple weeks ago, and kids still called me "the fat woman". I just realized the other day that if post a video of myself skating, more people will comment on my size and gender than on my skill or lack thereof. And because girls who weigh a lot less than me think they are too fat to skate. AND THAT'S A CRYING SHAME!! Really, I'm used to being a fat girl, and even if the number on my clothes has changed, I don't actually feel any different.

...

Plus, I'm working on some really awesome projects and I wanted to write about them but I don't feel like making yet another account when I've got a perfectly good one here. UP THE LAZY PUNKS

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fatgirlskates

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